freaking out

i'm sorry i didn't wrote anything for the last 2 days, but just nothing interresting happens. if you see everything by itself. if you take all the pieces of the puzzle and put 
them together, than you become a scary reality. the reality is : rintjo is like an anaconda. he holds me in a strong grip right by my troath. i swear, i had too much. TOO MUCH! i'm going to freak out if there's one more smssignal that's he controlated me,or that he wants to see me over and over and over again and again every single fucking day!! i don't even want to be with me that much. and how much he wants to believe it, this ain't my fault. he's my boyfriend,not my siamese twin! and than i talk to him, he acted like it was all MY fault. can you believe it? he treats me like michael scoffield, and than it's my fault! i'm going to talk to him tomorow,and if i still feel like scratching his eyes out, than i don't know anymore. he just has to stop thinking black-white. it's not so that one of the two controles the relation, while the other listens. he thinks that, if it isn't him, it's me. but it won't work that way! how can he not see that? anyway, if you don't count that, my last 2 days weren't really bad. just going to my family (and who could babysit? that's right...) and going to lyssa. i did find out how hard it is to find something to do on a sundayafternoon. well, further, nothing really interresting happend.
big kiss!