like the wind

today, i didn't really knew how to feel. one moment, i wanted to be with rintjo, the other, he just had to stay off my body. the one moment, i was laughing (pretty hystericly) and the other i was deadserious and angry. 2 men came to work at oure house this morning. one was a year of 50, and the other was a delicious guy of 26. D-licious! and i had the privelige to watch his cute but all day. just a shame it was just today i was going to have to talk to rintjo. that didn't went just like i wanted it to go. but i talked to him,and if the message didn't came trough now, than there's something really wrong with the guy. first we had a discussion about pornormal gifts. he thinks he can feel "gosts" in his room and that his dreams predict the future. what kind of BULLSHIT is that? dreams are a game of your mind that put pieces of your thaugts, feelings, memories and things you saw in one film, they don't predict. but hey, i ried my best to convince him, if he wants to believe all this messed up crap, than that's his problem. after that, we went walking, and talked about "us". i'm not really sure that he understood my point, but if he didn't, i seriously doubt his brain-qualitys. later, in my room, my crazyness began. he asked me what i realy wanted to do in my life. and i said deadseriously : i'd like to murder someone sometime. i wonder how it feels to push a knife trough someone's chest.  and than run for the cops...
 i think that would be nice.
 you should've saw him looking. i love it! and that moment, i ment it too. man, i freak myself out sometimes. well, i don't really feel like writing anymore, but i'll tell you more tomorow about the but of the worker!
big kiss