...

i'm ready to break. i mean it, ready to fall, with my face on the floor. it's too much, it's just fucking too much.
 everything is stressing me out. every word anyone sais 
can make me cry right now. i scream, i yell, i die inside. but no-one can hear what i'm doing on the inside. no-one feels what's going on in my mind. i can allmost hear the alarmbel ticking in my head, waiting for that last thing that can make it explode. it makes me feel like a balloon, filled up, more and more, untill it explodes. and after that, i feel empty. just like the balloon. i'm more in sudden death than ever. i feel worse than ever. i can't talk about everything. i can't say that that's afraid of the daylight. you can't fix what you can't see. am i pushing you away? are you afraid to know this truth? or am i afraid of it. is it me who tries to deny what's clearly alive?